That'll put Manners on ya......
Reading the comments over the last few days, Mr Tea brought up the fact that he "still holds doors open for women". I have to say, speaking as a woman, that there is nothing nicer than a man with manners - not over the top, falling all over you manners, but manners in a natural way. So he'll hold the door open but won't make a big deal out of it. If you're having a drink before dinner and then moving to the dinner table, he'll carry your glass for you. If it's cold he'll give you his coat, if you walk into a room/bar and there are no seats left, he'll offer you his etc. It is, in my opinion, wonderful for a man to do this.
The women, however, have to have manners too. You can't expect a man to treat you in this way if you don't treat him with similar respect. There is nothing worse than seeing a man hold a door open for a woman and she barges right through it without even so much as a glance at him, never mind a thank you.
The men have to tread that dodgy line between being chivilrous and being a namby pamby - a difficult one to get right - but I think it works if it is seamless and if the man doesn't try to draw attention to his gallant ways.
I look foward to your comments on this one. Best comment of the week, as always, wins a months free membership on Maybefriends.com - the Home of Irish Dating.
The women, however, have to have manners too. You can't expect a man to treat you in this way if you don't treat him with similar respect. There is nothing worse than seeing a man hold a door open for a woman and she barges right through it without even so much as a glance at him, never mind a thank you.
The men have to tread that dodgy line between being chivilrous and being a namby pamby - a difficult one to get right - but I think it works if it is seamless and if the man doesn't try to draw attention to his gallant ways.
I look foward to your comments on this one. Best comment of the week, as always, wins a months free membership on Maybefriends.com - the Home of Irish Dating.
posted by MaybeFriends.com at
01:29
7 Comments:
Oddly enough, I find the younger ladies to be more polite than the older ones regarding door-holding-open etc. Some of the old ones just charge through as if its expected that I'll open the door for them.
I must admit, if I'm at a shopping till and a lady is behind me with just a few items then I'll offer to let her go through. Men can bugger off! :D
Ah, so its for your own gain then! I hold the door open for everyone, its so rude to just let it go regardless of who's behind but yet thats what the majority do, or else suddenly a load of people are bustling through the door you're holding open as if you're paid to stand there all day!! and the same with the shopping thing...if someone has only a few items and you have loads it always makes sense to let them go ahead...I cant fathom the likes of people who have their weekly shopping in the queue and you're hopping up and down behind them with your one measelly sandwich on your lunch break and they dont offer to let you go first - think people are just blind to others....amazing what little effort it takes to make a simple kind gesture, and the knock on effect it has...ah, maybe i'm just naive...
"Ah, so its for your own gain then!"
Of course! :D
Nothing better than getting a nice smile from a pretty lady for a minor act of kindness : )
Manners and respect are wonderful things and come from the way that you are raised as a child through to adulthood. I always try to live by the motto 'Treat others as you would like to be treated yourself'
Regarding the 'knock-on' effect that you mention Ami_kit, your manner of treating someone is one of the most positive ways to influence people. I mean, we have all experienced the 'behind the counter individual' who really does not want to be there. It shows in his/her mannerisms, stance, facial expression...every part of that person's emotion is visible to you as a customer and what happens then? You leave the store feeling that person's bad manners/pain/unhappiness...whatever it is, it's negative. And then you pass it along to someone else...a complete domino effect.
Now put that in reverse...you walk into a shop and the assistant smiles at you (a really genuine smile of welcome). That too rubs off on your own mood and you then pass that along to the next person that you meet so this time the domino effect has a positive impact on those around you.
It costs nothing to be nice! No truer words were ever spoken...
The end of my rant! Sorry it's so long :-) Toffee
you know the way that if someone gives bad service it is a well known fact that people will go tell 10 people they know..? well I believe in doing the reverse. If I get good service, I always make a point of thanking the person, or even mentioning how helpful the person was to the manager/front of house etc.. it's not done nearly enough, and a little thanks makes someone realise that the job they do, when done well, does acutally make a difference to others..
Toff you are so right...i firmly believe in the knock on effect....if someone is grumpy at you, you will be grumpy at a different stranger, etc etc ad infinitum, but if you do something simple like let someone go ahead in the queue, offer up a seat, help someone carry something heavy...not only do they feel positive and uplifted and will be nicer to the next person they meet, but it cost you nothing and you feel better too, and will also be more inclined to be nice next time too.....sounds simple but really makes a diff....and Jandd you have such a good point, we Irish are terrible moaners, but do we ever take the time to point out the positives - if someone does a really good job as a waiter in a restaurant for example...yeah, you can give a decent tip, but we never think of commending them to the manager....we really should make an effort to give feedback to the right people when folk deserve it....
In my own happy little world.. i enjoy holding a door open for people maybe for minutes or more just to see how many people say nothing, if they dont look too tough i go 'you're welcome'...generaly on slow days.
On the topic of shop workers, (used to be one myself), an old expresion come to mind...if you pay peanuts you get monkeys...
(mrhazeleyes)
Post a Comment
<< Home