More on age gaps.....
There have been a few comments on the blog lately about men not being interested in women over 40. I have to disagree with this. I think that men don't have nearly the same outlook on age as women do.
Sure younger women are better looking and more attractive for men to look at but that's nature. I think that men in their 40's are more than happy to date women in their 20's, 30's and 40's - age is not an issue to them it's more about compatibility than the trophy on the arm and I think as men get older they realise this more and more.
It's like when you see that amazing dress and you just have to try it on but when you do it doesn't do you any justice - it's the same with men - they might see an attractive young woman but when they start chatting to her they realise that they are just not on the same wave-lenght. Of course you are always going to get some men who opt for looks only, just as you will find women who opt for the same or worse still the size of the bank balance. But in general I think that men and women just want someone they can be themselves with, have a good laugh with and be proud to be with.
What do you think? come on guys give us your version of this - I am really naive?
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Sure younger women are better looking and more attractive for men to look at but that's nature. I think that men in their 40's are more than happy to date women in their 20's, 30's and 40's - age is not an issue to them it's more about compatibility than the trophy on the arm and I think as men get older they realise this more and more.
It's like when you see that amazing dress and you just have to try it on but when you do it doesn't do you any justice - it's the same with men - they might see an attractive young woman but when they start chatting to her they realise that they are just not on the same wave-lenght. Of course you are always going to get some men who opt for looks only, just as you will find women who opt for the same or worse still the size of the bank balance. But in general I think that men and women just want someone they can be themselves with, have a good laugh with and be proud to be with.
What do you think? come on guys give us your version of this - I am really naive?
Best comment of the week wins a months free membership to Maybefriends.com - Great people. Great friends. Great dates.
posted by MaybeFriends.com at
01:57
13 Comments:
Jill...I completely agree with you!
As you get older, your appreciation for things change. Looks have never been that important to me (nor bank balance might I add), but I would generally have gone for someone who was very outgoing, a life-and-soul-of-the-party-kinda-guy!
Although humour will always be a big attraction, now I find that I look for different things in a partner such as neediness, angst, sloppy kisses...yuck!!! Only joking :-)
Nah but seriously, compassion, kindness, openness, loyalty, those type of traits are now very attractive.
And I know from speaking with some of my male friends who are also in their 40's that they too are looking for the same thing in a woman.
So 'well said'!!!
Toffee
Well, i used to think i had a type always seemed to go for guys who were bald lol just sends shivers,,, but i have recently found myself attracted to a man and he is in his 50's now i would not normally go for a man that much older but he has such a great sense of humour and fun that you wouldnt think he was in his 50's So i think yes the old we get our priorities change as to what we are looking for
P.S he is also a baldie :-) what can i say sends shivers lol
Jade6
jade I do not get your baldness fetish at all!!! I like my cats with fur and my men with hair!!! Each to their own.... Anyway I guess that its the person thats right for you, rather than their age or any one thing about them....so whatever makes us happy - go for it! so you can send all your hairy rejects my way! unless its Steve Wilkos...i'll make an exception for him :-) JPD
Here's my pet peeve though. Why do guys in their 40s have *must be between 30 and 35* stated on their profiles? What, must be massively younger than them but specifically within that narrow little age criteria arbitrarily imposed! so what, someone who is like 36, still best part of a decade younger than them but judged to be not good enough as they are such a glorious catch and have such an abundant choice of women that they can justify being that age-ist and that selective???? that is just so effing ridiculous that it really really irks me. Right I'm going to change my profile to *must be exactly 5ft 7 and a quarter with a lazy eye and must own a three legged spaniel called Jeffrey* IRATE JPD!
Now maybe its just me and i may be shooting myself here but i prefer people to say on their profiles if they have a particular type or age group they go for i think is saves a lot of time if they are strict about their preferences it may not be politically correct but it does help
I think this topic is worthy of a survey where guys can give honest answers anonymously. I have to agree with JPD, men in their 40s are the fussiest of the bunch.
The gas thing is that age is not an indicator of how well-preserved a person is - if you chain-smoke and drink spirits all the way through your teens, 20s and 30s it will show on your face and body in your 40s! On the other hand a combination of good genes and healthy living could make a 40 something look much younger. You cannot tell these things from an internet profile, even with photos.
i think biological age is irrelevent and its mental age thats important .i want someone with a positive outlook and up for a laugh not heading for the fireplace with their slippers and pipe .
I think it's very telling that no men so far have replied to this post to sing the praises of women over 40. It seems that nature wins out here - men will always go for fresh young flesh no matter what age they are.
With internet dating it seems to be the number on your profile that counts, not the contents of your profile. This doesn't inspire confidence in us women over 40 who aren't prepared to lie about our ages online.
well i agree that some men do seem unreasonably fussy particularly considering that they're not exactly spring chickens themselves! But if they're that prejudiced then they're not the kind of folk you want to meet anyway. I know a good few women in their 40s who get asked out on the site a lot, and at least two who are in very happy relationships with guys they met on the site. We cant tar all men with the same brush, that kind of negative stereotyping does nothing but bring us down and make us lose faith. There are plenty of decent guys out there...so keep positive! JPD
Some women over 40 may be doing well here and fair play to them but I don't post here to win best blog comment of the month, my comments are based on my experiences of the site. Again, I've noticed that not one gallant male soul has stepped forward to sing the praises of women aged 40 and over.
*raises head above parapet*
Wow....well, if I can just interrupt this week's episode of "All Men Are Bastards!!!" for a moment I'd just like to point out that everyone I've met online (I am 34) has been OLDER than me so perhaps a bit less of the "All men are chasing 18 year olds" would be in order (JPD excepted)
Maybe some of you aren't meeting many people because your attitude isn't the best. Just a thought...
As an aul fella myself,
I wont be singing the praises of over 40's women, I normally just sing about women in general ;-), and in my time have had a girlfriend who was 41, when I was 30, and the age between us was never a problem. and girlfriends who were 10 and 14 years younger than me. for me its about the person and normally its the eyes that do it for me. Personally I know my own age is a factor against me but I ignore that as there is feck all I can do about it.
And try to take each new person on who they are,. chemistry helps which I can not always find from profiles, so I go to a few events and dates to meet people in person. Everyone to their own. (mrhazeleyes)
defo big rants about how all men are crap and ageist and not worth bothering with and poor me nobody wants to date me cuz i'm old (not cuz my attitude stinks) are totally the way to win men's hearts. Good luck with that! Irish_Ninja
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