A little Less Action a Little More Conversation Please!
So, their profile on online dating site has jumped off the screen, you have started sending flirts and messages and you have decided it is time to meet up. A lot of people get nervous leading up to the first date. The biggest fear being that you will have nothing in common with your date, conversation never kicks off and what promised to be a great date turns into a comedy act. If you can follow some of these steps to keep the chat alive and going in the right direction, things will go much more smoothly. You may find out more than you wanted to know or how much you never want to see your date again, but hey, at least you know and you will not be leaving with what ifs.
Location, Location, Location!
Firstly, before any conversation exists it is important that you choose a location for a date carefully. Cinemas can be a good way to begin to feel more comfortable around each other and there is less pressure on having to speak all of the time. However, it does not provide much opportunity to learn much about your date. Something informal like getting a coffee is always a good idea, preferably in a quiet cafe where you can actually hear each other speak. Try not sitting directly in front of your date as this puts more pressure on having to engage eye contact and can create an uncomfortable interview style situation.
Learn to be to be a good listener. The conversation topic should always be about your date. Most people like to talk about themselves and what interests them. Also, this shows that you want to learn more about them and that you are considerate and friendly. By listening you can find your clues to start new conversations or expand on something they have said.
Here a few conversation starters to think about.
Travel, what he/she does for fun, family/friends, career etc
Mix it up!
Again, this is not an interview so do not feel as if all of the topics have to be mundane and predictable. Popular culture and current affairs are always good starting points so maybe take some time to read the paper or watch the news. Also, there will be plenty of clues in your dates online profile to give away their interests and potentially what they might like to talk about ranging from the latest goings on in the big brother house or recent sport events to the banking crisis or the extinction of the African Leprechaun! Your date will appreciate that you took the time to learn more about them and the conversation will know no bounds. So get studying!
Know when to give up
If trying to make conversation feels like ice skating up a cement hill, have no worries! The chances are the two of you are just not going to hit it off. It takes just 3 seconds to make a first impression so if you feel as though your date is not giving much away then maybe they are just not worth the effort. There are plenty more interesting people on Maybefriends.com.
If the body language and the chat seem positive then look to the future. Be confident and tell them that you have had a good time. You both can be sure of where you stand and can start making plans for that second date!